|Anybody seene our Igor?
||[Mar. 20th, 2006|07:06 pm]
RP - Ankh-Morpork wants you!
*puts up a piece of paper on the message board, next to the humorous picture of a hedgehog Sgt. Colon has drawn*|
"To Constable Igor,
Please see me when youe are back. We have to arrange a missione.
*pinned to the message board, written on a curiously textured substance that one could call paper, though one probably wouldn't, giving off a vague and strangely... organic... aroma, which has apparently caused the humorous hedgehog to excuse itself from the premises*
Pleathe exthcu, er, pardon my abthenthe... by my thtitcheth, I wath having a quiet evening, considering having a glath of wine, and woke up to find mythelf in an alley, with all my thpleenth gone mithing from their jarth! Turnth out I was contemplating having counterwithe wine, and I alwayth forget to watch out for that the day before I'm to go on a miththion... thall we meet?
Good to see you, Igor. I'm happy to know that you're safe and sound... erm, or at least good as new.
Let's go and see what's been happening in the Thieves Guild then, before the deceased become any more deceased (vis. e.g. thrown in the Ankh, where it would be easy to find them but difficult to get them unstuck).
*proceeds along the streets of Ankh-Morpork to the Thieves Guild* *knocks on the gate* *the little door in the gate opens*
Hello, sir, we're from the Watch. I'm Sergeant Littlebottom and this here is Constable Igor. Please do not be alarmed, he always looks like that. Yes, I'm a dwarf. Yes, I'm wearing lipstick. Do you have a problem with that?! So glad you don't. Oh, pardon me, it seems like I wasn't looking where I nonchalantly swing my axe. I'll just remove it from the neighbourhood of your knees.
Anyway, we heard about the unfortunate incidents involving two of the members of your Guild. We're here to investigate. Can we come in and ask some questions? Thank you. We'll also need to look at the bodies. Constable Igor is very skilled in those matters.
Constable Igor, please try to refrain from accidentally carrying out any organs in your pockets; we want to look professional.