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This is Havelock Vetinari ... [Feb. 8th, 2006|08:01 am]
RP - Ankh-Morpork wants you!

am_city_watch

[ajat]
[mood |busy]

As of this moment, I shall post this from an 'account' of Mr. Ponder Stibbons, following which, he will explain the process of opening a 'HEX-account' for myself which I shall subsequently use for these posts. As you will see from my list of memos, I am quite busy today, and therefore I shall proceed with the opening of my 'HEX-account' in the quiet of the night.

Therefore, my post goes as follows :-

Nano imps. Another new thing in the city. Vaccuous Haystack, or was that Vacuous Haystack ? The Alchemists Guild have no idea of the results of their experiments ; not even the likely possibilities : which is sometimes very vexing. I always keep in mind that business with the films they created.

Mental memos to self.

Mental memos because paper-memos might turn into something animated and fly away. While merely losing them wouldn’t worry me, the fact that these might fall into certain enterprising people’s hands does worry me. Enterprising people include von Lipwig, Mr. Slant, and Downey, among others.

Well, then, the memos.

1 – Consult Leonard as soon as possible, about imps, nano or otherwise. Preferably, after a discussion with the Archchancellor.

2 – Send verbal request to the Archchancellor through Drumknott to join me in the garden around mid-morning for a pleasant little chat, about imps, and sundry other things.

3 – Perhaps discuss with that interestingly intelligent young man, Mr. Stibbons, the possibility of creating a portable HEX for my personal use, because, that magical machine seems to have remained entirely unaffected by the imps. From what I had been told by the young man, I shall be able to keep both my diary and memos in it, and can arrange that they remain unaccessible to everyone but me.

4 – Arrange for de Worde to publicise this matter of imps as well as he can, as the city must be warned.

5 – Meet my gentlemanly adamantine friend. He would be able to tell me how the imps are affecting the troll-population.

6 – Perhaps arrange for a careful warm comfortable bath for Wuffles. And also, perhaps, a change of bedding.

7 – Verify that my cane, and the blade within it, are still functional. On one hand, the imps may have affected it ; on the other, the blade may have been blunted by long disuse.

8 – Send word to the Captain to ask him to give a message to Samuel Vimes to come over to the oblong office at five twenty-five PM. I shall require to discuss with him how this latest matter of imps are affecting the dwarfs, the undead population, the gnomes, the zombies …

9 – Inquire after Drumknott’s mother’s current state of health.

10 – If time permits, look into backgrounds of the exceptionally surprising alchemists, to see if said backgrounds are useful in explaining their mental constitutions.
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