||[Feb. 28th, 2006|10:03 pm]
RP - Ankh-Morpork wants you!
Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson's Report On Vaccuous Haystack. |
After much research I came upon the information that Vaccuous Haystack (Age 47 last Hogwatch, well known discoverer of the Fifth Element, Black Crispy Bits. would be the person to question on the recent incidents concerning, "Nano-imps". When questioned on the subject of the Fifth Element, he explained "Well, as a alchemist I wer searching for a way to turn lead inter gold, see, (and we've nearly got it) und I wer distacted by this when I noticed that e'er time I tried an experiment it end'd up being black crispy bits, see. So I tried ta get any other elements out of ther here crispy bits, and all I got wer more crispy bits! So it stands ta reason tha' Black Crispy Bits are teh Fifth Element!"
When I finally managed to catch up to Mr Vaccuous Haystack after many days of searching I found him rowing down the Anhk, occasionally hopping out to push his boat over the solid patches. When I asked " Mr Haystack, if I may have a few questions with you?" he turned around and yelled back "It weren't deliberate! It were a foggy night, I needed to splash me boots, and the duck backed into me!" (This might need investigating later) When reasssured I only wanted to talk about the Nano-Imps he responded " I can't talk now! The little buggers ha' got me trousers!" and resumed paddling down the river. Conceding that getting hold over Mr Haystack would be rather hard I sent him the official investigation form, it is incased in the envelope handed in with this report. Mr Haystack also included his notes on the Nano-Imps and his bussiness cards with the filled out form with the note :
"If yer want er contact me, sent me a message on the clacks. My numbers written on this here sandwich (The sandwich is inclosed in the envelope) It used to be my buisness card, but the Nano-Imps got to it."
(Unfourtunatly all Mr Haystacks notes were written on back of his unwanted business cards and I haven't learn't how to read a ham-and-cheese sandwich. )
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